I feel friendship these days has become so superficial and self-centered. Friends aren't people we care about and share our life with, they are notches in our belt as we climb the social ladder.
I've always struggled with finding friends. When I was very young I was outspoken, precocious, and very different from my peers probably because I was home schooled and didn't watch TV. I wasn't interested in the same things because I wasn't exposed to the same things. It was hard finding friends who were obsessed with pioneers, built mud pottery and liked to eat alfalfa sprouts and dates. And I was picked on it seemed by everyone in my life, adult and child alike. I was beaten down for being different and it hurt, so I hid away.
It wasn't until I was in college that I realized I had been struggling with depression from about the age of 10 and that realization didn't come until I was fighting a huge battle against PTSD and years of emotional scaring. And needless to say no one wants to be friends with a depressed, overly somber girl, and no one wants to hear about the battle you are fighting against PTSD. But in college I learned that I liked having friends. I hid my problems, I put on a happy face and I faked it till I made it. I had friends. Ward friends, Facebook friends, school friends. It was great, but I still felt like I was different and alone in my struggle. I only had one friend that supported me, built me up, encourage me to be better and loved me despite my hurt and depression. And that one friend was then replaced by my husband.
Then by a total miracle I found a friend. She was different too, but she wasn't afraid to be different. She liked many of the same things, and shared with me her interests and listened to me share mine. She forged ahead in her goal to find deeper, eternal meaning in life, and be the best she could be. By being herself she inspired and uplifted me and it has been so wonderful.
True friendship is food for the soul. It is sharing your light with another without having to be afraid of being beaten down. It is sharing your best and allowing others to do the same. It is listening and encouraging and helping. It is loving and welcoming. Friendship is a beautiful part of life and something I hope to bring back.
